You know why talking about the pas sucks? Its because it hurts more than the day it    happened and it keeps hurting you even it’s already over. For the past years that me and my girl had in this relationship the past is a very important thing for the both of us…well maybe not totally for the both of us may 80% important for her and the 20% is mine because i don’t talk a lot about the past and do not bring the past up in our daily conversation. Me and my girlfriend had a very wonderful dinner last night maybe for her but for me not totally a very wonderful night, do want to know why? well its all because almost all of our topics that time was about the past. I know i’m just to exaggerating about the topic but my point is it just hurts in my part, don’t worry ill explain later. The topic i was just hurt is just the topic about her ex-lover (cant say his name).

On that night after i got the the money from my grandmother we went to a BBQ house to eat because both of us wer very hungry that both of us can eat a horse. After we ate our dinner we did not leave immediately, we started talking about happy things we have done for the day specially her day, i did not mind about my day cause i was very interested knowing her day at the office and other things she done for the past days we haven’t seen each other, when she spoke about a topic about her ex-lover about the things they have done and i can see the smile and the joy in her eyes and it hurts my heart so much when i can see that joy in her while talking about him. I know i should not be hurt because it’s the past  but my deal is almost all of our past experiences as couples were not that great and if she talks about the things we have done i can see the same joy and gladness in her eyes not like when she talks about the things she talks about the happy things she experienced with her ex-lover the joy and gladness is really showing up.

this was not the first time i felt this way its every time when she opens her mouth and sets out the topic about the things they have done, just last night i snapped and i cant take it any longer. i know i should have told her about this but i cant spoil the joy she is feeling at the moment because she doesn’t have many joyful memories with me even though we spent longer times than her ex-lover but he had the right things done that hit my girlfriends heart. I am doing all the tricks i know, pulling all the strings i have got but still the joy she felt with that guy cant be compared to the things i have done for her for the past 22 months of our relationship, i know he made my girlfriend happier more than i did because of the fact that she cant forget it and if when she talks about it i can see the joy and happiness in her eyes that i cant see when she is talking about all the things I’ve done for her. i don’t know what does he have dot i don’t, well, clearly i have the better looks but the rest is history. in comparison in the eyes of my girlfriend ( in my opinion of course): he’s more funny than me, he is richer than me. smarter than me, obviously taller than me, he is a better gentleman than i am and the list goes on and on and on. Well, maybe because all of those reasons that’s why my girlfriend let her self kissed, touched and almost give her virginity to her ex-lover. i admit they had more connections that we had and i knew her longer than he did but still i lost the battle, it hurts to admit it but its the truth, i lost it but it doesn’t mean i’m giving up already ill still fight my love for her even though i know in my heart she will not forget the feelings that she had for him. i love my girlfriend so much that’s why even i’m so injured so much i will still continue to fight for her.